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Dealing with Disappointment: 5 Things I Learned from a Rough Family Vacation Last Week
I know, I know. Simply being on vacation should be reason enough to not complain, right? Having money to pay for gas, a cabin, and fun activities should override any thoughts of disappointment if it didn’t go as you planned. Aaaaand there’s the issue: it didn’t go as I planned. Before you roll your eyes and label me “entitled,” hear me out. I realize none of us actually deserve to go on vacations. The majority of the world has probably never come close to even having such thoughts. But since I live in middle-class America and my husband and I both work hard to be able to play, here we…
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Christmas Eve Chaos: The One Where We Went to Church Dirty and Avoided Our Friends
The morning of Christmas Eve 2019 in NorCal started like any other: frosty, sparkly, and bulging with practical anticipation. But the way it ended messed with my mind pride in ways I didn’t think possible. Without fail, every Christmas Eve of my whole life consisted of the same things: nice clothes, hair-sprayed hair, and a calmness about the impending church service. Cramming into as few cars as possible with aunts, uncles and grandparents, we drove the rainy or snowy roads to a large church and settled in. I was always happy to see people we knew, especially since we smelled great and looked put together. We chose seats toward the…
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Dear Gray Hairs: Stop Yer Moanin’
Nothin’ like receiving a personalized letter from my healthcare provider to make me feel cared for. And geriatric. Dear Carrie, The recent x-ray of your neck shows degenerative disease. Arthritis, also called osteoarthritis, is a breakdown of the cartilage that cushions your joints. How can you care for yourself at home? Use a cane, crutch, walker, or another device if you need help to get around. These can help rest your joints. You also can use other things to make life easier, such as a higher toilet seat and padded handles on kitchen utensils. Fantastic. As soon as I slide down from my higher toilet seat I’ll pad all my…
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Dumbing Down Our Kids: 11 Rules of Life to Challenge the Teens in Your Life
If an adult called all teens young, dumb and broke, there would most likely be a hormonal backlash with a protest march and a side of attitude. But for some reason when a teen writes a song with the same title, his young followers blare it like their mantra and dance like someone’s watching. When we adults think of our own teen years, most of us probably agree… young, dumb and broke sounds fairly accurate. That’s not our dream for the next generation though. So how do you think the majority of our young people drifted so far from our grandparents’ standards of working hard, saving before you spend, and…
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Young Bride, Thick Pride: Choosing to Stay
I never excelled in math. So the first time someone told me having small kids was when the days dragged and the years flew, it didn’t make sense. But I loved it. Exactly! Someone finally understands the weird time warp. I occasionally feel the same in my marriage. Since working and writing and constantly feeding my people, individual days don’t usually drag. But over the years I’ve caught myself in the middle of a particularly rough marriage patch thinking, “How many more years is it going to be like this?” And then last week I woke up and thought, “How did we get here?” If you think you have a…
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The Hungry Games
(Shared with permission) Age: nine Child: mine Attitude: fine Until it wasn’t. When one of our kids got in trouble for a garden-variety no-no, I figured the next steps would resemble the rest. Too tall to spank and not naughty enough to ground, I sent him to the back room where his timeout minutes matched his age. He knew the rule: any yelling or screaming made the time start over. Normally, regret bubbled and his demeanor recovered before I returned. But this time it elevated from mad to angry to ballistic in way less than nine minutes. In a house on a foundation, the muffled sounds of fists beating floors…
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What the What? Didn’t See THAT Comin’
I cooked in my kitchen when the house phone rang. “Sharri has cancer.” I sat in his Jeep when he told me we were done. “I’m loving you more than I’m loving Jesus.” I stood on my college campus when I read, “You have not been selected for the position.” I walked through a Costco parking lot when he called. “Carrie? He’s gone.” I soaked in a jacuzzi when I realized I was the only one not invited to a party. I rode in a van when her voice shook through my cell. “She’s probably not going to make it through the evening.” You didn’t see life comin’ either? It’s…
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Trading Sorry for Thank You
“Sorry I’m late.” “Sorry I didn’t call.” “Sorry about the mess.” “Oh, sorry!” “Oops–sorry.” Enough already. Of course, sometimes a genuine sorry is exactly what’s needed. But I’m referring to all the times when sorry becomes excessive… unwarranted… over the top. What in the world would a public bus be sorry for? That it’s winter? That’s you have to step out onto slush? Have you ever wished someone would stop saying sorry so much? Maybe (like I did) you realize you’re the one constantly saying it. Whether it’s intentional or not, if we’re consistently spewing the word, it tends to lose its effectiveness. It can also make us look guilty,…
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Working Moms: Killin’ It or Barely Makin’ It?
Almost a month into my new job and I’ve collected just enough data to tell you what I’ve learned about being a working mom in the States. It’s complicated. Being a working mom in Baja looked super different for many reasons, most of which revolved around flexible hours and not having to tell anyone when I went to the restroom. Now I’m on the clock for very specific hours and learning to resist checking my cell every 12 minutes for fear someone needs me. No one’s gotten sick or impaled lately, but I assured my youngest he could still reach me. “Buddy… if there’s an emergency, call my office. I’m…
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Praying for Closed Doors
“I don’t know which college to pick. I got into these two schools and I like them equally, but I’m afraid to pick the wrong one.” When we ran a GAP-year program in Baja, MX, each class of students lived with us from August to June. They were all recent high school graduates and no one had lived away from home yet. Tied in knots between quality universities, we watched them makes lists of pros and cons and worry for weeks, sometimes months. Cal Baptist or Moody? Point Loma or Liberty? Baylor or Westmont? Azusa or Biola? If you attended one of those schools, you most likely have a gut…
