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Category Archives: Parenting

Dumbing Down Our Niños

If an adult called all teens young, dumb and broke, there would most likely be a hormonal backlash with a protest march and a side of attitude.

But for some reason when a teen writes a song with the same title, his young followers blare it like their mantra and dance like someone’s watching.

When we adults think of our own teen years, most of us probably agree… young, dumb and broke sounds fairly accurate. 

That’s not our dream for the next generation though. So how do you think the majority of our young people drifted so far from our grandparents’ standards of working hard, saving before you spend, and not acting entitled? 

Should we blame it on society? Culture? Media? Parenting?

E? All of the above?

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11 Rules of Life

Sometimes the following ’11 Rules of Life’ get attributed to an alleged speech given by Bill Gates to high school students. However, they are actually from the book, Dumbing Down Our Kids, by Charles J. Sykes.

The first time I read this list I thought about my offspring. Would they agree with it, act indifferent, or hate it? If you have kids, nieces, nephew, or grandkids, think about them while reading this.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make 60 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president or have a company car. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a designer label.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. When you screw up, your boss isn’t going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes—learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

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In My Face

I’ve read this list about six times now. It would be easy to say it’s only for teenagers, but the last time I read it I inserted my name into each rule and asked myself if any of it rang true as an adult. 

  • Do I whine, That’s not fair, when something doesn’t go my way?
  • Is there any entitlement lurking beneath the surface? 
  • Am I nice to nerds?

You should try inserting your name. Go ahead—I’ll wait. 

(Jeopardy music)

While the school rules might not apply to most of us anymore, Rule 5 made me pause. I never flipped burgers, but I certainly scraped my share of gross plates, changed a buttload of diapers and scanned a bazillion drugstore items. 

My age reflected my duties though and life felt appropriately normal. If I wanted cash, I knew my parents would gladly whistle the Seven Dwarfs theme song. “…it’s off to work you go….”

I’m not sure what happened after the 80s and 90s, but society’s slow fade from teens doing hard work to hardly working disappointed a bunch of grandparents and left some of us parents wondering, Where did they learn that? Was it partly my fault?

In the past few years I’ve heard two teenagers say they wanted to find a job that wasn’t too hard and that paid a lot. One of them belonged to me. #soproud

I’m sorry? I think you have the wrong number. 

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Old, Smart & Rich 

Have you morphed into this new title? Society says your goals should have revolved around acquiring wealth through hard work, sacrifice and luck.

The bible says you should have worked hard, trusted God and blessed others with your moolah.  

No matter your age, brain trust or portfolio, teens are watching. Even with earbuds in and that Really, Mom? Seriously, Grandpa? look on their faces, they’re most definitely listening, observing and wondering if we’re gonna toe the line. 

Stand strong, fellow adults. They may know more about the new Agility Prime, Oculus Quest, and which robots will take over our jobs, but they still need guidance.

Any time my kids get a little sassy about my lack of technology skills, I remind them that I’m the one who taught them how to use a spoon. (Yes, you may steal that one.)

Mr. Sykes was right—life is certainly not fair. But thanks to his list, my husband and I still have time to work on not being boring. 

In effort to grow and change, I’m checking myself and my kids with this list as a springboard for intentional living. My desire is to launch young adults into society without a blankie, remembering hard work won’t kill them and nerds are cool.

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Don’t tell the teens, but do you think the ‘11 Rules of Life’ is groovy, rad, dope or lit?

Did you insert your name and read it again?

Do you have a life rule to add? Tell me in the comments!

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The Hungry Games

(Shared with permission) Age: nine Child: mine Attitude: fine Until it wasn’t.  When one of our kids got in trouble for a garden-variety no-no, I figured the next steps would resemble the rest. Too tall to spank and not naughty enough to ground, I sent him to the back room where his timeout minutes matched… Continue Reading

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Trust, but Verify

  Dude #1: “I am so glad I checked.” Dude #2: “I would do anything to be able to go back and check.” Where do you fall when it comes to verifying information that could tip the scales toward relief or disaster? As a mom, it’s my job, my right, and my responsibility to ask… Continue Reading

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A Loss, a Baby & Secondary Infertility

  After five years of marriage, my husband and I decided we wanted a baby.  Sad to say, I don’t recall checking with God much about this, but He didn’t send a concerned email so I laid my clothes on the bed next to Doug’s and bam—prego. Phone calls, nursery plans and a roomy pair… Continue Reading

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Family Dinner Questions w/a Side of Candlelight

  “So…? How was your day?” “Good.” “Anything fun or different?” “Nope.” If this riveting dialogue plagues your family too, take heart and read on.  Spreading a sheet or blanket in the family room and turning dinner into a picnic sounds so quaint, doesn’t it?  Photo by not brittany shh pls on Unsplash   Mostly,… Continue Reading

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Classy Smut

  I walked by the dilapidated Baja house with the window open and heard it. I visited Porvenir friends in the middle of the afternoon and saw it. Almost every time we ate tacos early, like old people, we saw it again—at our favorite stand, just above the raw meat.   Ask any woman in… Continue Reading

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8 Sweet Easter Ideas

  Tired of the same old eggs and chocolate bunnies? Welcome to Easter Twenty-18. It’s time to shake things up a little, amigos. Photo by Kelly Neil on Unsplash   From basket stuffers and silly fun, to t-shirts and Christian eggs, I’ve scoured Amazon so you don’t have to drive from store to store looking… Continue Reading

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7 Clean Cleaning Songs + 7 Cool Cleaning Solutions

  Hosting 23 people for Thanksgiving became a distant memory. Having the parentals in the guest room for Christmas is over and done. Sucking 2018 glitter out of the carpet ended almost a month ago. It’s not spring yet. So why are we talking about clean cleaning songs and cool cleaning solutions? Because maybe you… Continue Reading

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‘Adulting’ Just Grew Up. Please Follow Along, Gen Z.

  “The kid called the officer a pig. To his face.” “A student challenged me in the middle of class about how my assigned homework was unnecessary.” “A parent told me her son can’t pass P.E. because he has a reading disability.” Wouldn’t you love to see the research that connects Shakespeare to dressing out?… Continue Reading

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