If You Give a Woman a Kiss: Chocolate and Laura Numeroff to the Rescue

Inspired by Laura Numeroff, @lauranumeroff and If You Give a Dog a Donut

If you give a woman a kiss,
She’ll ask for some milk to go with it.

(But not just any kiss. A dark chocolate version.)
(And not just any milk. A creamy coconut version.)

When you give her the milk, she’ll drink it all up.

Then she’ll ask for more.
There won’t be any left, so she’ll want to make her own.

She’ll go outside, shimmy a palm and pick coconuts.
When she’s up in the tree, she’ll toss you one.

Throwing the coconut will make her think of dryer balls.
You’ll have to get a basket. And some clothes.

Of course, she’ll also need some soap.
She’ll ask you to scoop.

She’ll fill it just right!
Then she’ll do a happy dance to celebrate.

Dancing will make her tired and sweaty.
You’ll have to fan her off with your towel.

She’ll wrap it around her waist and pretend she’s a hula dancer.
Then she’ll want to find an instructional video.

You’ll have to let her use your laptop and desk.
And direct her to YouTube.

When the video is finished, she’ll want to watch another.
She’ll watch and watch until it’s 5:00 somewhere.

The instructors will start dancing to Hula Girl At Heart.
Jimmy Buffett will make a special appearance.

Seeing Jimmy Buffett will remind her of coconut milk,
So she’ll probably ask you for some.

And chances are, if she asks for some coconut milk,
She’ll want a kiss to go with it.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Y’all!