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No Longer a Reflection: How My Adult Children Helped Me Ditch Legalism & Embrace Freedom
When our son was getting ready to graduate from high school, I asked him which senior photos he wanted on his announcement and party invite. In an effort to let this occasion be more about him instead of me, I intentionally set myself up for not caring what he chose. With exactly 199 photos to pick from, it shocked me how fast he chose his top three. And the one that went on the front of the announcement? Him in a bland, thrifted Nike sweatshirt with a ripped collar and stain on the front, a plain white T-shirt underneath, a backward hat, and none of his perfectly straight, expensive white…
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Mental Fitness: Decluttering Your Mind Today so You Can Organize Your Thoughts Tomorrow
Emotional well-being. Psychological resilience. Mental health. Call it what you want—the point is we all have a brain and therefore we all deal with mental fitness in one way or another. Unfortunately, some of us come from generations where counseling or therapy wasn’t just uncommon… it was looked down upon. As a result, we grew up with preconceived notions about the whole concept, some of which included shame, guilt, and fear. So what’s a human with pain points to do? Here are four things I’m working on that you can too. I’m far from mastering them, but I’m seeing progress. Hallelujah, amen, pass the guac. 1. Pray Seem too obvious…
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Don’t Let Anyone Look Down On You Because You Are Old
Do you ever wonder how many years you have left on this earth? I don’t think about it too often, but a couple weeks ago I got older again. Of all the f-words in the world, this one always felt the most unnerving. I thought 30 sounded like a real adult. I didn’t mind 40. But 50? Thoughts race and distress creeps. How did I get here already? Half a century? Does that mean I’m half-expired? I seriously thought getting older would take longer. Oh my gosh, what will the young people think? My party of pity is interrupted with an inaudible voice: Whoa there, chica. Are you complaining about…
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3 Trips, 2 Countries & a Ring: The Benefits of Travel & How it Can Energize Your Family
Did you get away this summer? Doesn’t matter if it wasn’t a gigantic vacation; even a day trip can get you out of your normal routine mentally and emotionally. With the help of two ministries, some friends, and a knack for creative adventures, I visited three places, all of which either energized my heart, mind, or body. Some did all three and left me beyond grateful for the break. Stop #1: Ensenada YWAM My niece is on staff at Youth With A Mission, so a few of us went down to visit her. I hadn’t crossed the Mexican border in about three years; felt strange to visit the city near…
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Baby Steps, Bob: How to Replace the Overwhelming Thing with the Next Thing
If you’ve seen one of my favorite movies, What About Bob, you know taking baby steps (literally) is what got Bob Wiley out of his own head. Repeating the words “baby steps” also got him on a bus, through a sliding door, and on a boat… all things that previously terrified him. Similarly, if you’ve read Bob Goff’s books or listened to his podcast, you know he loves the word ambition. Always challenging people, he does a great job of encouraging his audience to figure out what they want and go for it. Sounds effortless coming from a man who already possesses ambition… and a bank account to back up…
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Dealing with Disappointment: 5 Things I Learned from a Rough Family Vacation Last Week
I know, I know. Simply being on vacation should be reason enough to not complain, right? Having money to pay for gas, a cabin, and fun activities should override any thoughts of disappointment if it didn’t go as you planned. Aaaaand there’s the issue: it didn’t go as I planned. Before you roll your eyes and label me “entitled,” hear me out. I realize none of us actually deserve to go on vacations. The majority of the world has probably never come close to even having such thoughts. But since I live in middle-class America and my husband and I both work hard to be able to play, here we…
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When You Stand to Teach & Sit Back Down Taught: Unexpected Lessons in the Trees
Have you ever returned from a conference re-energized, motivated, and encouraged? Wide-eyed, focused, and ready to make some big changes? And then reality sets in and you hit a wall? The Mount Hermon Christian Writer’s Conference always does that for me. Could be any type of conference though. Marriage Retreat: Day 1: I’m going to be way nicer to him now. I don’t care anymore if he leaves clothes all over the floor and forgets to put his dishes in the dishwasher. I’m just grateful to be married. Day 2: Again? I can’t even get to the dishwasher to clean up after him without walking on clothes. I am not…
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Two Cops & a Black Eye: Our Up Close & Personal Encounter with Physical Abuse
Living in Mexico brought a ton of unusual, funny, memorable experiences. Even the hard times sound like a picnic compared to the night the cops dropped off an unexpected guest. Our large property consisted of five double-wide mobile homes, a fire pit, trash and tool hut, huge water tank, fig and pomegranate trees, laundry lines, small patch of grass, and enough parking for about 25 cars. Some locals knew exactly why we were there, and others had no clue. Like all the other nights, I stood in our double-wide, all jammied up and cozy, brushing my teeth in peace. Between spits I saw lights flashing through our small bathroom window,…
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Christmas Eve Chaos: The One Where We Went to Church Dirty and Avoided Our Friends
The morning of Christmas Eve 2019 in NorCal started like any other: frosty, sparkly, and bulging with practical anticipation. But the way it ended messed with my mind pride in ways I didn’t think possible. Without fail, every Christmas Eve of my whole life consisted of the same things: nice clothes, hair-sprayed hair, and a calmness about the impending church service. Cramming into as few cars as possible with aunts, uncles and grandparents, we drove the rainy or snowy roads to a large church and settled in. I was always happy to see people we knew, especially since we smelled great and looked put together. We chose seats toward the…
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Hosting or Being Hosted: Helpful Ideas to Get Your Heart & Home Thanksgiving Ready
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you… your relatives. Raise your hand if you’re prepped and organized for Thanksgiving. It’s okay… most people aren’t. You’ve got this though. You’re stronger than you think, you can juggle more than you realize, and I have some tips. Depending on your hosting situation, I’ve crafted three possible scenarios. And within each of those, I’m giving you different levels of being ready. Pick and choose according to your home, drunk uncles, and level of crazy that’s on its way. 1. They’re Only Coming for Dinner If you were raised in a casa where your parents regularly hosted Thanksgiving, good news! Having people…
