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No Longer a Reflection: How My Adult Children Helped Me Ditch Legalism & Embrace Freedom
When our son was getting ready to graduate from high school, I asked him which senior photos he wanted on his announcement and party invite. In an effort to let this occasion be more about him instead of me, I intentionally set myself up for not caring what he chose. With exactly 199 photos to pick from, it shocked me how fast he chose his top three. And the one that went on the front of the announcement? Him in a bland, thrifted Nike sweatshirt with a ripped collar and stain on the front, a plain white T-shirt underneath, a backward hat, and none of his perfectly straight, expensive white…
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Mental Fitness: Decluttering Your Mind Today so You Can Organize Your Thoughts Tomorrow
Emotional well-being. Psychological resilience. Mental health. Call it what you want—the point is we all have a brain and therefore we all deal with mental fitness in one way or another. Unfortunately, some of us come from generations where counseling or therapy wasn’t just uncommon… it was looked down upon. As a result, we grew up with preconceived notions about the whole concept, some of which included shame, guilt, and fear. So what’s a human with pain points to do? Here are four things I’m working on that you can too. I’m far from mastering them, but I’m seeing progress. Hallelujah, amen, pass the guac. 1. Pray Seem too obvious…
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Baby Steps, Bob: How to Replace the Overwhelming Thing with the Next Thing
If you’ve seen one of my favorite movies, What About Bob, you know taking baby steps (literally) is what got Bob Wiley out of his own head. Repeating the words “baby steps” also got him on a bus, through a sliding door, and on a boat… all things that previously terrified him. Similarly, if you’ve read Bob Goff’s books or listened to his podcast, you know he loves the word ambition. Always challenging people, he does a great job of encouraging his audience to figure out what they want and go for it. Sounds effortless coming from a man who already possesses ambition… and a bank account to back up…
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Dealing with Disappointment: 5 Things I Learned from a Rough Family Vacation Last Week
I know, I know. Simply being on vacation should be reason enough to not complain, right? Having money to pay for gas, a cabin, and fun activities should override any thoughts of disappointment if it didn’t go as you planned. Aaaaand there’s the issue: it didn’t go as I planned. Before you roll your eyes and label me “entitled,” hear me out. I realize none of us actually deserve to go on vacations. The majority of the world has probably never come close to even having such thoughts. But since I live in middle-class America and my husband and I both work hard to be able to play, here we…
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Optimists and Their Kryptonite: Why Blowing Sunshine Doesn’t Always Work
Just because I normally see my kombucha bottle as half full doesn’t mean I don’t get sad when it’s empty. A large portion of optimists I know tend to be funny, super friendly, or both. One friend said she’s the funniest on social media when she’s depressed or going through muck. Another posts closeup pics of calm objects and events even though her life is falling apart behind the scenes. I belong to the optimistic lifers club. And I married a pessimist. Of course I didn’t know he was a pessimist when I walked down the aisle, but I figured it out pretty quick. He says assuming the worst makes…
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Boring Testimonies: No Drama Necessary
My second boyfriend acted like a goody-two-shoes, but mostly wasn’t. My third boyfriend had a long scar on his face. I never asked why. My fifth boyfriend lived in a group home and wasn’t that into… talking. My sixth got kicked out of school, but I don’t remember why. My husband tells stories of his past that make you wonder how and why he’s still alive. He sold pot in middle school, went to church hungover, and almost blew up his high school gym, but eventually, he grew up and started a nonprofit ministry. He also got stuck on the back of a motorcycle while the driver flew through the…
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Dear Gray Hairs: Stop Yer Moanin’
Nothin’ like receiving a personalized letter from my healthcare provider to make me feel cared for. And geriatric. Dear Carrie, The recent x-ray of your neck shows degenerative disease. Arthritis, also called osteoarthritis, is a breakdown of the cartilage that cushions your joints. How can you care for yourself at home? Use a cane, crutch, walker, or another device if you need help to get around. These can help rest your joints. You also can use other things to make life easier, such as a higher toilet seat and padded handles on kitchen utensils. Fantastic. As soon as I slide down from my higher toilet seat I’ll pad all my…
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Dumbing Down Our Kids: 11 Rules of Life to Challenge the Teens in Your Life
If an adult called all teens young, dumb and broke, there would most likely be a hormonal backlash with a protest march and a side of attitude. But for some reason when a teen writes a song with the same title, his young followers blare it like their mantra and dance like someone’s watching. When we adults think of our own teen years, most of us probably agree… young, dumb and broke sounds fairly accurate. That’s not our dream for the next generation though. So how do you think the majority of our young people drifted so far from our grandparents’ standards of working hard, saving before you spend, and…
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Young Bride, Thick Pride: Choosing to Stay
I never excelled in math. So the first time someone told me having small kids was when the days dragged and the years flew, it didn’t make sense. But I loved it. Exactly! Someone finally understands the weird time warp. I occasionally feel the same in my marriage. Since working and writing and constantly feeding my people, individual days don’t usually drag. But over the years I’ve caught myself in the middle of a particularly rough marriage patch thinking, “How many more years is it going to be like this?” And then last week I woke up and thought, “How did we get here?” If you think you have a…
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Above Reproach: 3 Stories with Men That Changed My Ways
At the ripe old age of 16-ish, I’m pretty positive I couldn’t have told you what living above reproach meant. Fifteen years later I moved to Baja and lived above a roach (a colony of them actually), but that’s different. The appearance of evil is a tricky thing. If you’re not actually doing anything evil/wrong/illegal, it’s easy to argue it’s no biggie. How it appears to outsiders looking in is whole ‘nother ballgame. I didn’t realize it for years, but I’ve had three similar experiences that could’ve flipped me on my head and changed the trajectory of my life. They didn’t just happen to me though—I chose them. I just…
