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No Longer a Reflection: How My Adult Children Helped Me Ditch Legalism & Embrace Freedom
When our son was getting ready to graduate from high school, I asked him which senior photos he wanted on his announcement and party invite. In an effort to let this occasion be more about him instead of me, I intentionally set myself up for not caring what he chose. With exactly 199 photos to pick from, it shocked me how fast he chose his top three. And the one that went on the front of the announcement? Him in a bland, thrifted Nike sweatshirt with a ripped collar and stain on the front, a plain white T-shirt underneath, a backward hat, and none of his perfectly straight, expensive white…
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Mental Fitness: Decluttering Your Mind Today so You Can Organize Your Thoughts Tomorrow
Emotional well-being. Psychological resilience. Mental health. Call it what you want—the point is we all have a brain and therefore we all deal with mental fitness in one way or another. Unfortunately, some of us come from generations where counseling or therapy wasn’t just uncommon… it was looked down upon. As a result, we grew up with preconceived notions about the whole concept, some of which included shame, guilt, and fear. So what’s a human with pain points to do? Here are four things I’m working on that you can too. I’m far from mastering them, but I’m seeing progress. Hallelujah, amen, pass the guac. 1. Pray Seem too obvious…
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When You Stand to Teach & Sit Back Down Taught: Unexpected Lessons in the Trees
Have you ever returned from a conference re-energized, motivated, and encouraged? Wide-eyed, focused, and ready to make some big changes? And then reality sets in and you hit a wall? The Mount Hermon Christian Writer’s Conference always does that for me. Could be any type of conference though. Marriage Retreat: Day 1: I’m going to be way nicer to him now. I don’t care anymore if he leaves clothes all over the floor and forgets to put his dishes in the dishwasher. I’m just grateful to be married. Day 2: Again? I can’t even get to the dishwasher to clean up after him without walking on clothes. I am not…
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Two Cops & a Black Eye: Our Up Close & Personal Encounter with Physical Abuse
Living in Mexico brought a ton of unusual, funny, memorable experiences. Even the hard times sound like a picnic compared to the night the cops dropped off an unexpected guest. Our large property consisted of five double-wide mobile homes, a fire pit, trash and tool hut, huge water tank, fig and pomegranate trees, laundry lines, small patch of grass, and enough parking for about 25 cars. Some locals knew exactly why we were there, and others had no clue. Like all the other nights, I stood in our double-wide, all jammied up and cozy, brushing my teeth in peace. Between spits I saw lights flashing through our small bathroom window,…
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Christmas Eve Chaos: The One Where We Went to Church Dirty and Avoided Our Friends
The morning of Christmas Eve 2019 in NorCal started like any other: frosty, sparkly, and bulging with practical anticipation. But the way it ended messed with my mind pride in ways I didn’t think possible. Without fail, every Christmas Eve of my whole life consisted of the same things: nice clothes, hair-sprayed hair, and a calmness about the impending church service. Cramming into as few cars as possible with aunts, uncles and grandparents, we drove the rainy or snowy roads to a large church and settled in. I was always happy to see people we knew, especially since we smelled great and looked put together. We chose seats toward the…
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Yellow Lights, Red Flags: Warning Signs That Help Keep Our Noisy Lives in Check
I ran a big fat yellow light this week. Actually, if you must know, it looked a tad orange. How a human brain can go back and forth that many times in a matter of 1.8 seconds is beyond me, but there I was: Slow down. Punch it. I’m good. This isn’t good. Cops? No cops. I got this. I don’t got this. Gahhh! Don’t judge. I’m guessing you’ve been in an orange light situation at some point, yes? Those split-second decisions don’t exactly give me time to wrangle my best drawl, sing Jesus Take the Wheel and then wait for Him to move. Most of the time I’m relying…
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Quickly Saving Drowning Memories, One Wet Photo at a Time
Last November my teenagers bought me AirPods for my birthday. Spending so much of their own money to get me pieces of fancy technology made me feel loved. But I’m not a fancy girl. I have an old phone, our TV feels ridiculously large, I don’t own a watch (much less a smart one), and if it were up to me, Alexa would be kicked to the curb. But I have a husband who loves that stuff and two teens who work and volunteer in tech. So of course they all want me to jump on the bandwagon, and AirPods were one way to get me there. On a sunny…
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When it’s Finally Time to Launch Your Business Idea. Small Starts are Better Than No Starts, Right?
Well? Are they? If you answered with a resounding, “Heck yeah! Go for it!” then you might not deal with issues of insecurity, perfectionism or strong aversions to failure. I always looked in awe at our neighbors in Baja who thought up an idea for a business, gathered a few supplies, and opened the following month. Or week! It made no sense to my cautious brain how you could be prepared that fast with a game plan toward success and a plan B to pivot if needed. But that’s coming from someone who cringes at the thought of failure, or being completely wrong, or launching something that isn’t ready. And…
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Corner Office Syndrome as a Boss: When it’s Always Lonely at the Top of the Business or Ministry
A few years ago I reported the results of a missionary survey I did and was surprised by their answers. (Especially when they matched mine.) With global loneliness at an all-time high, I thought I’d take a closer look into the phenomenon where some people might not look. The old cliché, “It’s lonely at the top” rings loud and true… 92% of missionaries I interviewed said yes to this question: Do you ever suffer from Corner Office Syndrome? (Knowing a ton of people but not having any real friends.) “Totally. I have lots of friends on Facebook, but nobody checks on me; I always have to reach out. It’s hard…
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Kicked Out of the Bank: When Rejection Suddenly Strikes You and Your Family
A few years into Baja living, my husband learned to roll with the inconvenient punches, knew exactly how to pay all the bills in person, and understood the cultural norms. But of all the places we visited in the city, going to a Mexican bank never felt fun. Between 230 cars jockeying for 13 parking spaces, sketchy holes in the sidewalks and a general feeling of being a tad nervous carrying too much cash, I preferred to stay in the car. Or at home. At least their banks had real police officers packin’ heat at the front door. None of this rent-a-cop packin’ snacks nonsense you find in the States. …
