-
Christmas Eve Chaos: The One Where We Went to Church Dirty and Avoided Our Friends
The morning of Christmas Eve 2019 in NorCal started like any other: frosty, sparkly, and bulging with practical anticipation. But the way it ended messed with my mind pride in ways I didn’t think possible. Without fail, every Christmas Eve of my whole life consisted of the same things: nice clothes, hair-sprayed hair, and a calmness about the impending church service. Cramming into as few cars as possible with aunts, uncles and grandparents, we drove the rainy or snowy roads to a large church and settled in. I was always happy to see people we knew, especially since we smelled great and looked put together. We chose seats toward the…
-
Optimists and Their Kryptonite: Why Blowing Sunshine Doesn’t Always Work
Just because I normally see my kombucha bottle as half full doesn’t mean I don’t get sad when it’s empty. A large portion of optimists I know tend to be funny, super friendly, or both. One friend said she’s the funniest on social media when she’s depressed or going through muck. Another posts closeup pics of calm objects and events even though her life is falling apart behind the scenes. I belong to the optimistic lifers club. And I married a pessimist. Of course I didn’t know he was a pessimist when I walked down the aisle, but I figured it out pretty quick. He says assuming the worst makes…
-
Dear Gray Hairs: Stop Yer Moanin’
Nothin’ like receiving a personalized letter from my healthcare provider to make me feel cared for. And geriatric. Dear Carrie, The recent x-ray of your neck shows degenerative disease. Arthritis, also called osteoarthritis, is a breakdown of the cartilage that cushions your joints. How can you care for yourself at home? Use a cane, crutch, walker, or another device if you need help to get around. These can help rest your joints. You also can use other things to make life easier, such as a higher toilet seat and padded handles on kitchen utensils. Fantastic. As soon as I slide down from my higher toilet seat I’ll pad all my…
-
3 Books, 2 Shows & a Podcast
I’ve always believed items and experiences of significance should be shared, not hoarded. So here ya go… six things I’m currently loving and think you will too. * 3 Books 1. Braving the Wilderness – Brené Brown Her subtitle explains it well: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. Umm, yes please. Whether we realize it or are willing to admit it, most of us yearn for true belonging. Cultivating it in our communities, organizations and culture sounds taxing to me… and fantastic. The courage to stand alone isn’t simple, but this book is on its way to my hammock chair and I’m ready to dive…
-
Young Bride, Thick Pride: Choosing to Stay
I never excelled in math. So the first time someone told me having small kids was when the days dragged and the years flew, it didn’t make sense. But I loved it. Exactly! Someone finally understands the weird time warp. I occasionally feel the same in my marriage. Since working and writing and constantly feeding my people, individual days don’t usually drag. But over the years I’ve caught myself in the middle of a particularly rough marriage patch thinking, “How many more years is it going to be like this?” And then last week I woke up and thought, “How did we get here?” If you think you have a…
-
Above Reproach: 3 Stories with Men That Changed My Ways
At the ripe old age of 16-ish, I’m pretty positive I couldn’t have told you what living above reproach meant. Fifteen years later I moved to Baja and lived above a roach (a colony of them actually), but that’s different. The appearance of evil is a tricky thing. If you’re not actually doing anything evil/wrong/illegal, it’s easy to argue it’s no biggie. How it appears to outsiders looking in is whole ‘nother ballgame. I didn’t realize it for years, but I’ve had three similar experiences that could’ve flipped me on my head and changed the trajectory of my life. They didn’t just happen to me though—I chose them. I just…
-
The Hungry Games
(Shared with permission) Age: nine Child: mine Attitude: fine Until it wasn’t. When one of our kids got in trouble for a garden-variety no-no, I figured the next steps would resemble the rest. Too tall to spank and not naughty enough to ground, I sent him to the back room where his timeout minutes matched his age. He knew the rule: any yelling or screaming made the time start over. Normally, regret bubbled and his demeanor recovered before I returned. But this time it elevated from mad to angry to ballistic in way less than nine minutes. In a house on a foundation, the muffled sounds of fists beating floors…
-
Trading Sorry for Thank You
“Sorry I’m late.” “Sorry I didn’t call.” “Sorry about the mess.” “Oh, sorry!” “Oops–sorry.” Enough already. Of course, sometimes a genuine sorry is exactly what’s needed. But I’m referring to all the times when sorry becomes excessive… unwarranted… over the top. What in the world would a public bus be sorry for? That it’s winter? That’s you have to step out onto slush? Have you ever wished someone would stop saying sorry so much? Maybe (like I did) you realize you’re the one constantly saying it. Whether it’s intentional or not, if we’re consistently spewing the word, it tends to lose its effectiveness. It can also make us look guilty,…
-
Praying for Closed Doors
“I don’t know which college to pick. I got into these two schools and I like them equally, but I’m afraid to pick the wrong one.” When we ran a GAP-year program in Baja, MX, each class of students lived with us from August to June. They were all recent high school graduates and no one had lived away from home yet. Tied in knots between quality universities, we watched them makes lists of pros and cons and worry for weeks, sometimes months. Cal Baptist or Moody? Point Loma or Liberty? Baylor or Westmont? Azusa or Biola? If you attended one of those schools, you most likely have a gut…
-
Back to Work, Back to Reality
His calm voice sounded kind, but his words surprised me. “We’re spending too much and not bringing in enough. I think we need you to start working.” My husband was right, mostly, but the hardest part of his comment was that I already feel like I work. I wish my writing provided a full-time, regular income, but while keeping up a blog and writing a book pushes me forward, neither are helping our bottom line at the moment. I countered with logic. “I’m happy to work a conventional job, but don’t you think we could just cut some corners and spend less?” “Maybe a little, but I want to go out…
