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Above Reproach: 3 Stories with Men That Changed My Ways
At the ripe old age of 16-ish, I’m pretty positive I couldn’t have told you what living above reproach meant. Fifteen years later I moved to Baja and lived above a roach (a colony of them actually), but that’s different. The appearance of evil is a tricky thing. If you’re not actually doing anything evil/wrong/illegal, it’s easy to argue it’s no biggie. How it appears to outsiders looking in is whole ‘nother ballgame. I didn’t realize it for years, but I’ve had three similar experiences that could’ve flipped me on my head and changed the trajectory of my life. They didn’t just happen to me though—I chose them. I just…
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The Hungry Games
(Shared with permission) Age: nine Child: mine Attitude: fine Until it wasn’t. When one of our kids got in trouble for a garden-variety no-no, I figured the next steps would resemble the rest. Too tall to spank and not naughty enough to ground, I sent him to the back room where his timeout minutes matched his age. He knew the rule: any yelling or screaming made the time start over. Normally, regret bubbled and his demeanor recovered before I returned. But this time it elevated from mad to angry to ballistic in way less than nine minutes. In a house on a foundation, the muffled sounds of fists beating floors…
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Reclaiming Minutes & Health: 5 Things I Stopped Doing & 5 Things I Started
Skimmers appreciate writers getting to the point sooner than later. And since I’m a reader, a writer and a skimmer, I feel ya. Scrolling through a recipe blog and passing 14 photos of different angles of quinoa makes me crazy. Yes, I see the bran and germ and appreciate the endosperm. Just give me the dang recipe! You’re most likely busy and tired, so I’ll skip the details of why I wrote this or how it’s changed my life. It’s just a free list from me to you. My 5 Most Annoying Time Wasters 1. Corporate Emails But I can’t be inundated by your email announcements because you keep sending…
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Praying for Closed Doors
“I don’t know which college to pick. I got into these two schools and I like them equally, but I’m afraid to pick the wrong one.” When we ran a GAP-year program in Baja, MX, each class of students lived with us from August to June. They were all recent high school graduates and no one had lived away from home yet. Tied in knots between quality universities, we watched them makes lists of pros and cons and worry for weeks, sometimes months. Cal Baptist or Moody? Point Loma or Liberty? Baylor or Westmont? Azusa or Biola? If you attended one of those schools, you most likely have a gut…
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Trust, but Verify
Dude #1: “I am so glad I checked.” Dude #2: “I would do anything to be able to go back and check.” Where do you fall when it comes to verifying information that could tip the scales toward relief or disaster? As a mom, it’s my job, my right, and my responsibility to ask my kids questions about their outings, friends, whereabouts, etc. Sometimes (ahem—like this morning) I get major pushback, but I press on. Why? Because regrets carry weight and guilt, and teens actually want boundaries. Prudence: Careful, wise discernment; the good management of talents and resources and the showing of tact and wisdom in relationships with other…
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Back to Work, Back to Reality
His calm voice sounded kind, but his words surprised me. “We’re spending too much and not bringing in enough. I think we need you to start working.” My husband was right, mostly, but the hardest part of his comment was that I already feel like I work. I wish my writing provided a full-time, regular income, but while keeping up a blog and writing a book pushes me forward, neither are helping our bottom line at the moment. I countered with logic. “I’m happy to work a conventional job, but don’t you think we could just cut some corners and spend less?” “Maybe a little, but I want to go out…
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Lord of the Flaws
Though some exasperated parents might joke about dropping their sassy Tweens on an island, I’m fairly certain no parent would want the experience to resemble William Golding’s version. My son brought home his 7th-grade required reading list last month. I scanned it, unfazed until I reached the one title that zipped me right back to my 7th-grade English class and made me cringe. Lord of the Flies still remains one of my all-time least-loved books. Ever. Visions of being totally grossed out to the max and putting it down after reading each chapter still linger. Bloodthirsty boys painting their faces, stalking a beast, killing pigs, and eventually turning on some…
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The Day I Deleted Her Info: Saying Goodbye to a Lifelong Friend
Just because two sets of parents are good friends doesn’t mean their offspring will follow suit. So was the case with Chelsea and me. We saw each other every summer at Mount Hermon and ran through camp together while our parents hung out and caught up. It took 358 days to bring us together again, and we continued that pattern through childhood and adolescence. I’m writing a book for a woman about grit and resilience. Besides living in another country for 12 years, I haven’t had many events or occasions that forced me to dig in and claw my way out. And in a weird way, I feel bad about…
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Classy Smut: TV Shows That Suck Us In
I walked by the dilapidated Baja house with the window open and heard it. I visited Porvenir friends in the middle of the afternoon and saw it. Almost every time we ate tacos early, like old people, we saw it again—at our favorite stand, just above the raw meat. Ask any woman in most Latin American countries what rules the mid-mornings and afternoons at home and they’ll probably say the same thing: Novelas. Known as Soap Operas in English, the name originated from the squeaky clean stuff we call soap. Since most women worked at home in the 1930s, daytime dramas targeted them and their cleaning needs. The networks required…
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Your Hoopie’s Showing
My grandma. So sweet and helpful. If you ever wore a necklace in her presence and the clasp slid around toward the front, she was your girl. “Oh here, honey, let me help you. Your hoopie’s showing.” I naturally learned from an early age how hoopies should be on the back of my neck and only the back. Letting them rotate to the front looked unkept/disheveled. I also learned wrinkled clothing was a no-no. From t-shirts and jeans to knickers and parachute pants, everything qualified. Does this give you hives? Let’s be clear though: I’m still a fan of ironed clothes if I’m going somewhere that demands a grown-up…
