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Mary, Did You Sew? My Questions for the Mother of Jesus
Dear Mary, Is it true you weren’t in a barn when you gave birth? Was it better than what artists always draw? I hope it was better. Smart people who study your era tell us it was probably a cave. That doesn’t sound better. I gave birth in a sterile building, complete with a bed, fire sprinklers and female helpers who tended to my needs until a blurry-eyed man ran in with untied shoes to catch my son so he didn’t touch the ground. And it still hurt like hell-o. I don’t know many young teenage girls who could have done what you did. I see you wrapped in…
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The Secret Society of Christmas Anxiety: How to Calm the Expectations
No pressure, but have you poured your own candles with beeswax from your backyard colony yet? …gotten your hollyhock dipped and your mattress flipped? …added plumbing to your gingerbread house? …drained your hot tub and refilled it with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks? Is there a wreath on your grill and a candle on your sill? …gold glitter on your babysitter? …a candy cane on your windowpane? …jingle bells on your dusted shelves? Good tidings, no. Martha Stewart’s still alive and well, but let’s all give an eight-clap to the fact we don’t live in the ‘90s anymore. If she wants to stencil her driveway, God bless…
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How To Hack the Heck Out of Your Thanksgiving Turkey Day
Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash No boring twine and brine reminders here. I dug deeper, scoured the sites and compiled a list to make your turkey day a tad easier. Some of these items I own, some I’m buying, and some I’m loving from a distance, but they are definitely mother-in-law approved. Most of us are about to host or join a gathering that begs for planning, cooking and manners, but fear not. You still have time to order these helpful goodies from Amazon and get them way before Aunt Nelda pushes your buttons doorbell. Affiliate Lingo: Purchasing these products costs you nothing extra, but swings a little kickback…
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Christmas Card Burnout: Why I Chose to Stop Sending the Iconic Greeting
They were part of the tradition, part of the joy and part of the expectation. I can still see piles of cards in front of my mother. Her beautiful handwriting graced fronts of envelopes as she diligently wrote out addresses and duplicated ours in every lefthand corner. She composed classic Christmas letters with my father, describing the most interesting bits of our year and excluding all the sibling rivalry—mostly caused by me. Personal greetings inside sturdy cards of snow-scenes no doubt left each recipient feeling remembered and loved. Add an Olan Mills, lick a tasty stamp and bam—Christmas spirit. For all I know she lovingly placed them…
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Easter Fail
I knew he was familiar with the Easter story, but I had never heard our seven-year-old try to re-tell it on his own. We only read the full account of Jesus’ death and resurrection once a year; I expected him to get a couple details wrong. Pride welled when he began. Then perfectionism kicked in and disappointment welled when he continued. Not disappointment in my boy—in me and my parenting skills. We use a visual aid called Resurrection Eggs and the carton contains a dozen plastic eggs, each one containing an object to help convey the meaning of Easter. For example, in the orange egg you’ll find praying hands, and the…
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Carols In The Closet
She looked up from her phone and spoke with authority. “We need to take cover. Now.” Her children followed like obedient ducks. But we, the west coast visitors who had never received any such emergency text, questioned her urgency. Right now? In the middle of dinner? Two families and a live-in mum around a table, eating simple pizza and crudités before the impending Christmas feast, ditched our plates, grabbed a few carrots and vacated. I felt a blog post coming on, so I snapped this pic and followed the fam. Our friend Erik (well aware of how long this might last) grabbed his guitar and yelled to our oldest, “Micah—grab…
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If You Give a Woman a Kiss: Chocolate and Laura Numeroff to the Rescue
Inspired by Laura Numeroff, @lauranumeroff and If You Give a Dog a Donut If you give a woman a kiss, She’ll ask for some milk to go with it. (But not just any kiss. A dark chocolate version.) (And not just any milk. A creamy coconut version.) When you give her the milk, she’ll drink it all up. Then she’ll ask for more. There won’t be any left, so she’ll want to make her own. She’ll go outside, shimmy a palm and pick coconuts. When she’s up in the tree, she’ll toss you one. Throwing the coconut will make her think of dryer balls. You’ll have to get a basket. And some clothes.…
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