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Praying for Closed Doors
“I don’t know which college to pick. I got into these two schools and I like them equally, but I’m afraid to pick the wrong one.” When we ran a GAP-year program in Baja, MX, each class of students lived with us from August to June. They were all recent high school graduates and no one had lived away from home yet. Tied in knots between quality universities, we watched them makes lists of pros and cons and worry for weeks, sometimes months. Cal Baptist or Moody? Point Loma or Liberty? Baylor or Westmont? Azusa or Biola? If you attended one of those schools, you most likely have a gut…
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A Loss, a Baby & Secondary Infertility: What I Learned While Waiting to Get Pregnant
After five years of marriage, my husband and I decided we wanted a baby. Sad to say, I don’t recall checking with God much about this, but He didn’t send a concerned email so I laid my clothes on the bed next to Doug’s and bam—prego. Phone calls, nursery plans and a roomy pair of overalls became the norm. Until I went in for my first ultrasound at twelve weeks and the technician looked strange. Nice lady, but I could tell she couldn’t tell, so I studied her face. “Everything okay?” “The doctor will go over everything with you.” “I thought there would be a heartbeat by now.” “He’ll…
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Do It Afraid: Public Speaking Through Anxiety, Fear and Nerves
“No Fear,” claims the American lifestyle clothing brand. “Fear not,” the preacher says. “Do not be afraid,” Jesus commands. Sounds brave. Courageous. Bold. I want that; I’m guessing you probably do too. Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash But we’re human. And some of us deal with fear. How we deal with fear is the difference between surviving and thriving. One introverted kid says talking to the teacher is too intimidating. Your extroverted self loved your teachers so that doesn’t make any sense to you. Another can barely ask the waiter where the bathroom is. Come on, dude. Waiters don’t bite. For one man it might be…
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8 Sweet Easter Ideas: Fun Gifts for Kids, Teens & Adults
Tired of the same old eggs and chocolate bunnies? Welcome to Easter Twenty-18. It’s time to shake things up a little, amigos. Photo by Kelly Neil on Unsplash From basket stuffers and silly fun, to t-shirts and Christian eggs, I’ve scoured Amazon so you don’t have to drive from store to store looking for this goodness. Click your favorite pics for easy Easter bliss delivered straight to your doormat! Mixed Emotions Jelly Beans Your Personal Flavor Decoder: Happy tastes like refreshing lemon Playful teases the taste buds with sour apple Grumpy sears like sizzling cinnamon Sad envelopes you in berry blue Love warms the soul with orange crush Perfect for…
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Mary, Did You Sew? My Questions for the Mother of Jesus
Dear Mary, Is it true you weren’t in a barn when you gave birth? Was it better than what artists always draw? I hope it was better. Smart people who study your era tell us it was probably a cave. That doesn’t sound better. I gave birth in a sterile building, complete with a bed, fire sprinklers and female helpers who tended to my needs until a blurry-eyed man ran in with untied shoes to catch my son so he didn’t touch the ground. And it still hurt like hell-o. I don’t know many young teenage girls who could have done what you did. I see you wrapped in…
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Finishing Well. Sort Of: Moving to Another Country When You’d Rather Not
Did you know you’re never supposed to start a sentence with a number in the shape of a number? 11 years ago we had recently moved to Porvenir. We felt rather pale. And tall. 9 months ago we thought we might move back to the States. I didn’t want to. 7 weeks ago I stopped packing for our move and celebrated my last Mother’s Day in Mexico. 5 days ago Doug moved our fridge and beds into our new rental. Weird. 3 hours ago our real estate agent moved through our home with his tripod, clickety-clicking his way from the calle to the bodega to the baño. 1 minute ago…
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Your Grass Looks Greener: Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms
Two Moms, Two Letters, Two Countries Dear Missionary Mom, I see you down here, with your hair pulled up and your patience falling down. Doin’ that missionary thing can drain, I know. It all looked so quaint from a distance, didn’t it? Needy people, corner sweet bread shops, hammocks in palms. Did you move for the life the promo video promised? I’m glad I’ve been your neighbor. Living in Baja has felt attractive, mostly. It’s been a place where those old roots I planted could get some fresh air and be replanted. Our kids probably won’t be graduating with yours though. We’re all scattered around and therefore…
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Last Christmas in Baja? Wrestling with the Unknown and Another Big Move
The C9 bulbs sit snug and proud, wrapped around the palm. It’s fat, freshly trimmed, and still full of green. Through the fall and into winter, palms don’t change. “It looks like a pineapple,” my husband says. “A glowing one.” He’s right; our own tropical Christmas. But whose kids are those? The holiday is celebrated here, yes, but you have to drive to the cities to see red and green explosions alongside gifts in excess. A peek into our low-income town will show you single strands of dim lights, old-school decor and a few lawn ornaments you might consider tacky. Big deal. We who possess bright white…
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Double Border, Side of Stress, Hold the Sunset
Crossing the Mexican border solo is not my favorite. But living in Baja for ten years makes me prepared, mostly confident and ready. Until that one time. After a lousy weekend back home for a funeral, I board some 737, block my row with stuff and close my eyes. Guilt tells me to open them and welcome any passerby, but the plane is virtually empty and I am spent. After touching down in San Diego, all that stands between me and getting home before dark is shifting my weight for 30 minutes at carousel #1, finding my shuttle, retrieving my vehicle, grabbing a fully-leaded liquid treat and heading for stores.…
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Cross-Cultural Patience: People Wait for God in Hamburg, Germany Too
I made a new friend! She’s on the other side of the Atlantic, but technology doesn’t discriminate when an American writer in Germany and an American writer in Mexico bond over the not-so-popular W-word. We both love Jesus and we both wrestle with waiting. Works for me! Please give a big “Welcome/Bienvenida/Willkommen” to Caitlin Lieder. Moving to Germany meant stepping out in faith in a big way. It was a new level of trusting Jesus; we moved internationally a few times but never with four kids under five years old, and we did not make the decision lightly. We talked and prayed with our small group, pastor, and trusted family members for over a year…
